If only there are more like her.

[Revathi Seshadri.]

If only there are more like her.

( A 'Women's Day' post.)

By Revathi Seshadri.

At seventeen, it is exhilarating to have the last word in any argument especially with the parents and their dos and don’ts. I was no exception. This ‘fighter cock’ tendency used to worry my parents quite a bit as a girl on marriage has to make umpteen adjustments to get along with her in laws. But I would quote the poet Bharathiar that one should not take any injustice lying down.

So, when Mangala and myself became bosom pals, it surprised my parents. We were poles apart in temperament. She was very soft natured and was never known to lose her temper. May be the rule ‘opposites attract’ played a role in our friendship.

Mangala was a few years older to me. She was the young mother of three girls when her family came to occupy the first floor portion of my parents’ house. Her husband Murthy worked in a bank and she herself was a teacher in a Government school. Her parents in law lived with them. Mr.Murthy remained for as much as twelve hours of the day at his work place and I suspected, mainly to keep away from the non -stop complaints and nagging of his mother.

The old lady would start her day with the morning coffee tumbler in hand, finding fault with life in general and Mangala in particular. That fate should curse her with a daughter in law who can not brew good coffee, can’t turn out a decent meal, won’t stay at home to look after the parents in law, didn’t bring any dowry worth the name and would only beget daughters to cast a burden on her son, etc. Mangala, or any of the family members, would never vouch a word in reply.

With my volatile nature, I would get annoyed with my friend and chide her for being a door mat allowing the old lady’s unfair criticisms to go on without a single word of retort.

Mangala would just sigh before adding “I too feel the urge at times. But I do not want to embarrass my father in law by humiliating his wife. He is a perfect gentle man. Anyway, when you are a little older, you will realize that self esteem takes the back seat when it comes to keeping peace in the family.”

Before I got married and moved out of Chennai, Mr. Murthy was transferred to another city on promotion and the family left. I sadly missed my friend.

But some of her softness must have rubbed on me, for my relationship with my in laws turned out to be quite creditworthy. My parents must have sighed in relief.

Now, after eighteen years, Mr. Murthy was re-posted to the Chennai branch of his bank. Our upstairs portion was vacant and Mr Murthy happily took it on bank lease and the family came to live in our house once again. The daughters had graduated and got married. Mangala’s father in law had passed away a few years ago.

I visited my parents last month and was beside myself with joy meeting my friend again.

I thought that age and time would have softened the old lady. But .her comments on Mangala were as provoking and nonstop as ever.

I demanded to know what made Mangala continue to put up with her acid tongue , now that the father in law was also was not there to feel embarrassed.

Mangala replied, ‘You see, her other sons would not have her. She has lost her spouse – the main stay in a person’s life. If I also start being rude to her, won’t it amount to hitting at an opponent who is already down and out? I can’t do it”.

I muttered that some people would find excuses to protect even the unworthy persons.

Mangala just smiled.


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[jayashree s kumar]

Dear Revathi, A very happy women's day to you and my thanks for sharing the story of a beautiful woman, Mangala in this Forum...My special wishes to your dear soft hearted friend, mangala for being an admirable woman...

Patience is a quality which women possess in greater quantity than men, I feel. There may be exceptions. Your dear friend seems to patience personified.

As Mangala feels, it is not worth defeating a soul who is already defeated. I am sure persons like Mangala will find happiness within themselves as their deeds are done whole heartedly.

[Revathi Seshadri.]

Yes Jayashree. You are right.
It is my good fortune that I have a friend like Mangala. It is a pity that such people are few and far between. I am glad that I remembered her on the Women's day. May her tribe increase.
Regards,
Revathi.