Formula for married life ?

[adreamygal]

I often see girls , once when they get engaged are quite excited about their future and marriage ...All seems rosy and cosy till the newly wed days .Once they step into real life , the dream seem to vanish all of a sudden and cracks seems to develop and the relationship , which look quite excited at beginning , seem to suffocate them ...Why does that happen so ?Is it because day by day the fault of the partner seem to look bigger and bigger or is that expectation to change ( from both ) , when not fulfilled , seem to damage it ...

*For all those who have been married and living happily with partners , please share your experirence/views on what makes a marriage work ?

[Charanya]

Hmm, yeah

Women are always excited for the new relationship, aren't we?

I think, there is no definite formula, it depends on personalities.
In my view, basic things are Tolerance, accepting things, love....
What say?

[adreamygal]

My views contradict with your Charanya I mean , wome are always excite , I agree with that , but in case of marriage , its always men who are excited at the beginning , and as days goes by , the romance dwindles ...

And regarding the formula , in my , view tolerance and understanding ( in right way ), defifntely helps in happy journey

[jyothi_pv1]

Both men and women are excited in the beginning and as days go by, romance doesnt dwindle , but the priorities do change. And both the partners has to understand this fact that being in courtship and getting into a matrimony , both carries different responsibilities.
I think tolerance, and giving enough space and of course being a 'friend' is very important.
Many of you those married can explain pretty more in detail.

[jayashree s kumar]

Well, marriage often rouses sweet thoughts to a young girl as well as a boy and they look forward to spending hours and days and years of happiness and fun.....Once they get married and get to know each other as well as their mutual relatives(in-laws) and the new place they(girls in our culture) have to get adjusted to....then comes the realisation that marriage means more responsibility, more patience, more giving than taking.

So, you girls, do dream about the happy days ahead you are certainly going to have with your spouses. But at the same time, plan how you are going to/want to lead your lives with him and discuss it in detail during/after your engagement. Let him know your priorities and likings but at the same time, learn what his priorities and likings are. marriage does not stop with the bondage between 2 individuals. It is a bonding between two families. So, have this in mind and remember not to hurt his or his family's feelings in any way. Once they know you and your good qualities, you are sure to become the most lovable person in your new home.

All the best girls.

[Sofia]

well.. let me put my thoughts on this --

in my view, the key to successful relationship is "Proper Understanding". if it's a love marriage, we get (at least in most of the cases) ample time before the marriage to understand eachother and incase of arranged marriage, this happens inherently, interlaced with day to day activities.

When I say "I love you", i mean I love the person as he is. I appreciate the best aspects in my partner and accept his shortcomings. He is to me for who he is ....

and yes ... the uncertainity and the hope for a better tomorrow makes the journey of life interesting and if the life partner is consciously with us through the journey, it's a perfect relation

[MythiliK]

This is my first article in net.... Hope this is related to our topic too...

http://www.socyberty.com/Relationshi...of-Love.437337

Few points from my article...

Once when entered into a unique life under the bond of marriage, most people start thinking that they have each and every rights over the partner. They can act in anyway and the partner is supposed to adjust. Everything is taken for granted.

Most men, who spent their whole day in finding things to make their partner happy and tricks to get closer to their heart, abruptly stop this once when they enter the marriage life. They start thinking like saying “My sweet heart”, after marriage may show them like “Hen Pecked”. For few, spending more time with wife is useless and will lead to lose of friends. They used to think, “Anyway I’m going to meet her in home, whatever time I reach there. So why to rush?” whereas when they were in love, they never minded about any friends or their big FriendSHIPS. They expect their wife to understand each and every move of them and act accordingly. The expectations keep growing like adjusting family members, accepting his bad habits, etc…

Most women, who used to keep themselves dressed well and look beautiful throughout the day during their love phase starts thinking, why these all now required. He is mine. There is no need of extras to attract him. The day they enter his life as wife, will start questioning about each and every activity of him. Most women whom I know are not ready to give the breathing space for their partner once when they enter marriage life. I don’t know what they fear for. Or may be just to show their new power? She starts expecting him to love her only and immediately give up his parents and all others. As wife, she thinks she has more rights on him, and no one should be a deciding authority except her, while talking any decisions in his matters.

In common, both sides, the expectations are higher and the ego clashes are more after marriage. When the unconditional love turns into conditional, the path of love ends and the path of stress and hatred towards life starts, which in their words “path of marriage”.