need ur suggestion

[Unregistered]

hello everyone....

I am 28 yrs old married working in an college....I am not able how to leave a peaceful life with my husband...

we both r working and well educated... but not able to understand each other from last 3 yrs. time from we get married..i have a daughter 10 months old , but she live with my parents as we both r working
my husband used to abuse me and sometimes to my parents also on my things...such as

they had nothing given in dowry ( but they had given 2 lk cash along with many other things...including gold n silver too . and beside this i was not given anything from my in laws just 2 saree..and some gold.& silver jwelleary costing around 40 to 50 k )

he used to also abuse i had not been grown properly by my parents...bcoz i wear modern dress inside house and that also when we both r alone...

he used to abuse me for each n everything ...including he also say i m not at all gud looking n he want to have some other women ....he dont take me out as he feel insulting going with me....

during my maternity i left my job then he said i had to make controls on my outgoing as i m not at all earing........

and also i had a caserian and beside that also i used to get up from bed and till all homeworks ..including wash clothing n all...

he want me to stay with his parents in his city n he want to live alone here...and he says to save money he want to do this...

i dont know what to do ..every day he used to abuse me n my parents.... and point on each n everything...


plz suggest he..should i leave him or live with him in same manner...i dont want to leave him also .. he said me many time that y dont i go to my parents home...beacuse i know once i ll go he will get one points for me....

Renu

[MythiliK]

Dear Renu,

I am so sorry to hear your problems. You have mentioned that your husband abuses you by words. Does he abuse you physically too? I mean, does he beat you? In that case, you have to make a decision soon, as none others will know how violent he is.

If he just uses sharp words, then you can use the strongest weapon called as "Ignoring". Since you said, you don't want to leave him, you can start ignoring his words. I know, it is easy to say and hard to follow. But trust me. Until you take things into your heart, it pains. And fighting with such personality will make things worse. Just pretend at least, as if you never care for his hurting words. Be yourself and treat him as usual with respect (like talking, sharing your thoughts). Meanwhile, try to show you are strong and can handle things / situations. But never ever give away your job, as it is one great security for your life. Things may change slowly. All the very best.

With Prayers....