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Thread: How to handle abusing husband? Need your suggestion

  1. #1
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    Default How to handle abusing husband? Need your suggestion

    hello everyone....

    I am 28 yrs old married working in an college....I am not able how to leave a peaceful life with my husband...

    we both r working and well educated... but not able to understand each other from last 3 yrs. time from we get married..i have a daughter 10 months old , but she live with my parents as we both r working
    my husband used to abuse me and sometimes to my parents also on my things...such as

    they had nothing given in dowry ( but they had given 2 lk cash along with many other things...including gold n silver too . and beside this i was not given anything from my in laws just 2 saree..and some gold.& silver jwelleary costing around 40 to 50 k )

    he used to also abuse i had not been grown properly by my parents...bcoz i wear modern dress inside house and that also when we both r alone...

    he used to abuse me for each n everything ...including he also say i m not at all gud looking n he want to have some other women ....he dont take me out as he feel insulting going with me....

    during my maternity i left my job then he said i had to make controls on my outgoing as i m not at all earing........

    and also i had a caserian and beside that also i used to get up from bed and till all homeworks ..including wash clothing n all...

    he want me to stay with his parents in his city n he want to live alone here...and he says to save money he want to do this...

    i dont know what to do ..every day he used to abuse me n my parents.... and point on each n everything...


    plz suggest he..should i leave him or live with him in same manner...i dont want to leave him also .. he said me many time that y dont i go to my parents home...beacuse i know once i ll go he will get one points for me....

    Renu

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    Dear Renu,

    I am so sorry to hear your problems. You have mentioned that your husband abuses you by words. Does he abuse you physically too? I mean, does he beat you? In that case, you have to make a decision soon, as none others will know how violent he is.

    If he just uses sharp words, then you can use the strongest weapon called as "Ignoring". Since you said, you don't want to leave him, you can start ignoring his words. I know, it is easy to say and hard to follow. But trust me. Until you take things into your heart, it pains. And fighting with such personality will make things worse. Just pretend at least, as if you never care for his hurting words. Be yourself and treat him as usual with respect (like talking, sharing your thoughts). Meanwhile, try to show you are strong and can handle things / situations. But never ever give away your job, as it is one great security for your life. Things may change slowly. All the very best.

    With Prayers....

  3. #3

    Cool This Problem be solved

    Hi Renu,

    I would like to suggest you to look for the solution for the long term. You are seemed to be under stress a lot.

    Firstly, whenever you think about any problem just close your eyes then listen to your heart beat or your breathing just to stay away from stress.

    Understanding from your post , you need to work on the roots of the problem.

    To begin with the process, just keep on observing your husband deeply every second . You can watch him very closely where you can get to know your husband more.

    While during the tough situations ( while he starts to abuse you ) should remain silent till he completes , then please go head with your daily schedules without any hard feelings.

    Make a list of top 10 of your husband's interest and positive/best things , develop an positive attitude towards the list , start appreciating your husband for the points in the list. For ex: If he has great interest to music , You should start with speaking about music and then later to discover his favourite songs , should develop the conversations by sharing an interesting fact about his favourite singer , musician etc.......

    [/COLOR]

    Create an peaceful & fragrant atmosphere in your home especially in evenings . ( You can use aroma candles which will help in balancing moods & also helps develop relax and create roamantic feeling)

    Allways have an positive attitude. Just follow these simple techniques .

    Note: I had suggested you the above steps since you had mentioned you don't want to leave . The problem you had mentioned is easily solvable . I can go in detail if it is required. Remember these steps will lead you to create more love and positive energy between you and your husband ,once the bond is strong between you both ,the chances of occuring problems will be very low and can even be disappeared.

    If your husband behaves so violently that can even be solved . Keep posted . All the best.
    Last edited by mindfree; 28th February 2014 at 11:00 PM.

  4. #4

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    dont fight with him it will be more ............. just play and become mature talk with him like no one is behind you . And you are alone and you have to live with him all the life ......lets see how you save your family life because go out is very easy but hold your family is difficult .

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