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Thread: Handling a Toddler - Its not Simple, yet it is!!!

  1. #1
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    Default Handling a Toddler - Its not Simple, yet it is!!!

    My son is now 3.8 years old. He keeps me on my toe most of the time. Yet I feel, I am happy with him and able to handle him during situations. Some of my friends used to say that they are not able to handle their toddlers at some times like out at shopping or while feeding food.

    So, I thought of sharing few tips, which may help other toddler moms too.

    1. Don't give much choices.

    Yes, you read it right. Generally people used to tell "Give them lot of choices and let them decide. This will help them to grow independently and make decisions". Yes, this is true. But this should be started slowly, with slow increase in choices.

    For example, when the kid is less than 2 years old, we never ask for what they want to eat, but we just decide on their menu and feed. Because, we are sure that they won't have much knowledge about nutrition or language to express and ask what they want. Later we change a bit and ask them what they want to eat.

    So, here I stress, don't give much choice. Instead of asking "What do you want to eat?", which indirectly means that you are giving "Infinite" options, that they can say anything in this world, ask them like "What do you want to eat? Idly or Dosa or Bread?", which clearly shows that they have to opt something out of the three choices given.

    This should be followed in almost all matters. While taking out to shops, instead of letting them to select the toys, just select the best two or three (which are good and safe for them, as well as for your budget) and ask them to select which one they want. This will give them the happiness that it is their choice, as well as happiness to you that everything is under your control.

    2. Be clear before you step out

    This is another one step that saves me from much hassles. Before stepping out itself, I used to make sure that I tell my son clearly the purpose of our shopping and what he can expect to the maximum. Like, "Monu, we are going to buy vegetables and fruits. We are not going to toy shop. OK" or like "Monu, we are going to buy a toy for you. Only one. If you ask for more, then I will give the toys at home to some other kids, as you won't have space to keep the new one". Since he is more attached to old ones than some unknown new ones, he obeyed for 99.9% times. After all, he is a small kid. So, yes, he had over ride my warnings for 0.1%of times. At such times, don't throw tantrum like a kid. Just handle them with a smile saying "OK. This is the last time. If you do next time also like this, we are never going for a shopping anymore".

    3. Deals are good some times
    Don't bribe kids, making them to expect "Something" always, to do some work, like "I will allow you to watch cartoon if you finish the food completely". But instead make some good and healthy deals. My son loves chocolates. So, I used to buy M&M chocolates (which are less in chocolate and have ground nut inside and there by not so bad for health). Whenever I go to pick him from school, we always have a deal that if he eats one fig, then I will give him one M&M (not whole packet, but just one small ball). So, he eagerly eats fig to get his deal. Slowly he started liking the taste of fig, that even without deals and discounts, he go for it now. So, instead of unhealthy bribes, go with some good and health deals

  2. #2

    Default

    Hmmm...That's a good way of bringing us back to IWF, Meetu...Posting the thread in Digital Bhoomi and asking us to respond in Indian Women Forum...

    The tips given by you for moms of toddlers are quite interesting and useful...
    Regarding giving choices, when I give a choice to my 22 year old son now on what should I cook for him, he says etho onnu, ma... (anything, ma). As it is I who have to cook, the choice has to be made by me...

    When he was a toddler, he never used to ask for anything and we used to decide and buy dresses and toys for him. Usually I never used to spend much on costly dresses because as a growing kid, he would be outgrowing them quickly. So we used to go in for something which looks good but is quite economical too. Feeding him was a difficult job till he was 3 or 4 years...His grandmother(my mother in law) used to make him sit (because she could not run around due to her age factor) and used to tell him stories from real life(which happened to her sons and daughters in their childhood) and feed him.

    Children's behavioral patterns keep changing as they grow up and at every stage - toddler, teens and later - we as parents will have to face different types of problems and handle them with patience, perseverance and affection...
    Music, music, all the way...
    Pushes your worries far away
    ...

    www.jayskorner.blogspot.com

  3. #3

    Default

    Very useful tips give by you Mythilik.

    Yes if we think,plan and do things we can handle them very well.

    I can also share a little bit on this issue.

    On weekends whenever we go outside,i make sure the kids are fed properly.

    As a hungry child and a sleepless child will get irritated and soon start crying unreasonably.

    And even their demand for junk food is less as their tummies are full.

    So they play, get tired and its time to go back home.



    www.triond.com/users/nirmala+reddy

  4. #4
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    Default

    First of all, my hearty thanks to Chellama (Jayashree) and Nimmo (Dr. Nirmala) for their come back to the forum

    Chellamaa, true that no kids are the same in this world as mentioned in your post here

    http://www.digitalbhoomi.in/forums/s...ad.php?t=25534

    I read in a book that kids can be divided into three categories

    1. Easy Kids - They are very easy to handle, that you don't need any tricks or ideas. Just on the go, you can manage.

    2. Average Kids - May be not able to manage just at the moment, but if you have planned properly (like I suggested, saying and explaining things / plans in advance and like Nirmala said, feeding properly, etc...) you can very well manage them.

    3. Difficult Kids - These are the kids, who are bit tough to handle even when you have plans and ideas. But I am sure, a mother will know where she can get hold of her kid.

    For example, some kids used to listen to their parents or others, if they are handled with love like "Oh baby, how good you are. Will you do that?", where as some kids will not listen if said with love, where as will listen if said in some strict words.

    But my son didn't fall in both "Love" as well as "Strict" category and in the beginning I suffered without knowing how to handle him. But quickly I learnt that he belongs to "Show off" category I mean, if I say "Monu please eat", he will simply refuse, and if I threaten in strict words also, he will not listen. But if I say "Monu, if you don't eat, you won't get strong muscles like dad. Gowtham baby will not call you as yettan (badi baai)", he will finish his food without any hassles. He is one such show off hero that he cannot tolerate words like "Babies will laugh at you", "You will not become strong and will not get mustache". So, the mother inside me got Success now

    Nimmo, that was a great add up point dear. Yes, I do follow the same. If my son didn't take food properly, I will not plan for long outings / shopping as I know he will turn cranky, very quickly.

  5. #5

    Default

    my reply is a bit irrelevant to the thread. But its for a toddler. i am in search of a good maid to look after my baby girl who is 2 years old. we live in delhi, so can anyone suggect me some maid pls

  6. #6

    Default Don't Worry

    Quote Originally Posted by MythiliK View Post
    My son is now 3.8 years old. He keeps me on my toe most of the time. Yet I feel, I am happy with him and able to handle him during situations. Some of my friends used to say that they are not able to handle their toddlers at some times like out at shopping or while feeding food.

    So, I thought of sharing few tips, which may help other toddler moms too.

    1. Don't give much choices.

    Yes, you read it right. Generally people used to tell "Give them lot of choices and let them decide. This will help them to grow independently and make decisions". Yes, this is true. But this should be started slowly, with slow increase in choices.

    For example, when the kid is less than 2 years old, we never ask for what they want to eat, but we just decide on their menu and feed. Because, we are sure that they won't have much knowledge about nutrition or language to express and ask what they want. Later we change a bit and ask them what they want to eat.

    So, here I stress, don't give much choice. Instead of asking "What do you want to eat?", which indirectly means that you are giving "Infinite" options, that they can say anything in this world, ask them like "What do you want to eat? Idly or Dosa or Bread?", which clearly shows that they have to opt something out of the three choices given.

    This should be followed in almost all matters. While taking out to shops, instead of letting them to select the toys, just select the best two or three (which are good and safe for them, as well as for your budget) and ask them to select which one they want. This will give them the happiness that it is their choice, as well as happiness to you that everything is under your control.

    2. Be clear before you step out

    This is another one step that saves me from much hassles. Before stepping out itself, I used to make sure that I tell my son clearly the purpose of our shopping and what he can expect to the maximum. Like, "Monu, we are going to buy vegetables and fruits. We are not going to toy shop. OK" or like "Monu, we are going to buy a toy for you. Only one. If you ask for more, then I will give the toys at home to some other kids, as you won't have space to keep the new one". Since he is more attached to old ones than some unknown new ones, he obeyed for 99.9% times. After all, he is a small kid. So, yes, he had over ride my warnings for 0.1%of times. At such times, don't throw tantrum like a kid. Just handle them with a smile saying "OK. This is the last time. If you do next time also like this, we are never going for a shopping anymore".

    3. Deals are good some times
    Don't bribe kids, making them to expect "Something" always, to do some work, like "I will allow you to watch cartoon if you finish the food completely". But instead make some good and healthy deals. My son loves chocolates. So, I used to buy M&M chocolates (which are less in chocolate and have ground nut inside and there by not so bad for health). Whenever I go to pick him from school, we always have a deal that if he eats one fig, then I will give him one M&M (not whole packet, but just one small ball). So, he eagerly eats fig to get his deal. Slowly he started liking the taste of fig, that even without deals and discounts, he go for it now. So, instead of unhealthy bribes, go with some good and health deals
    Hey, hope you doing well. This article would be helpful for you check it out https://schoolwiser.com/blog/ways-tame-kids-tantrums

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